DOPE FIEND?

by Clyde Hawkins

Manager Graham may be off to a perfect start taking over the reigns from Bobby Valentine as the Mets skipper, but being in New York puts you under a microscope...and Graham may just be getting fried from the heat.

Team officials say the GM walked into the office to congratulate Graham on the game and give him due respect. However, upon entry Graham's stash (Pictured left) was found on the table...in plain view.

McIlvaine said this wouldnt be an issue that would be swept under the rug, because Graham had already gotten busted on a drug test after being named new Manager. "Its really sad the kid just cant play by the rules...we like him alot; but this shit cant happen. You have fans paying good money to come out to see these games....and our manager might make some boneheaded call cause hes blitzed out of his [expletive deleted] skull.

"Listen guys, I'm doing it behind closed doors" Graham said, quick to defend himself. "Its not like im going out in the dugout before games during autograph sessions and offering kids weed and cussing. It goes on in the Managers office, behind closed doors...away from the players" McIlvaine stated  the team will fine graham $1,000 dollars for the infraction. And if it happens again- a possible suspension for a few games in addition to a greater fine.

MLB Commissioner Harry Scanlon sounded off on the issue. "Graham is a fine young man...I've met him a few times, always very respectful; courteous...and just generally a good guy- misunderstood......maybe. But a good guy nevertheless. He's got my support" Scanlon then made this very clear: "Remember.....all fines and punishments have to go through my office...so you might want to think before you try to screw over some poor kid- hes TWENTY-FUCKING-FIVE years old..... hes just a damn kid still, like you all never did shit when you were younger"

Team officials haven't responded to Scanlons rather critical remarks; if anything is going to happen, its going to happen within the next 24 hours, before the Mets take flight to the bay area to play the San Francisco Giants, in Game one of a three game set.